Fear Landscape
by thefaultinourstarbucks
Summary: A series of little stories about Katniss and Tobias, and her fear landscape. I LOVE THIS STORY really proud of this one :) :)
1. Before

Fear Landscape

**five minutes earlier**

He stared at the girl in front of him. She looked thin, peaky even, with hair tied back from her face and loose, baggy clothing. Her eyes seemed too big for her pretty face, her cheekbones prominent, her bottom lip red and cut from her running her teeth over. Her face was pale.  
>"Are you going to inject me?" She said softly. "Don't worry about hurting me; I've endured worse pain."<p>

He looked her over. There were tendrils of dark hair slipping from her braid, and her grey eyes flicked up to meet his.

"Four?" She asked, barely audible. Her hands, pale and soft, fiddled in her lap. She wore a black shirt, revealing her shoulders, and tight black pants with deep brown, laced boots.

"I don't want to do this." He said impulsively. She had gone through so much already.

"You have to, don't you get it?" He could tell she was studying him. His brown hair was mussed from barely sleeping for days. Her eyes, grey and speckled like a granite countertop, were staring into his dark blue ones, which were bloodshot from lack of sleep. He knew his skin was pale, he had purple circles under his eyes, and he couldn't sit still. He had drunk two pots of coffee this morning trying to wake himself up.

"Are you okay?" She asked him, shifting in the chair she was limp in, running her dirt-incrusted fingers over his cheek. His skin tingled at her touch.

"No, of course I'm not okay, Katniss, how can you even ask?" Four shook his head. "I can't keep doing this to you, this isn't right?"

"This is how it is, though," she traced his lips with her finger, then pulled back, embarrassed.

"Your fears, though," he sighed, sliding against the wall until he was sitting on the cold, hard ground.

"I-I can't help it, Tobias," she whispered, climbing out of the chair and sitting next to him, the freezing tile stinging. "I thought you of all people would know that, after you brought me in your fear landscape."

"Kat, I'm not mad at you," Tobias stroked her hair, playing with the loose strands of her braid. "I could never be mad at you."

"Then what is it?" She pulled away slightly, biting her bottom lip anxiously.

"You!" He shouted, then shook his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just… you're so strong, Katniss, and smart, and confident, and….and, pretty, and"-

"I'm not pretty." She stated.

"You are. You are, and you don't even know it. And your life, in your old faction….. you get me. We were both tortured, both abused…"

"My parents loved me." Her voice was cold, and she turned away in pain. "My sister loved me."

"You were starved, Katniss!" His voice cracked. "Starved. And now you're here, and I love you, and I don't want to hurt you."  
>"You have to, Tobias!" She cried out desperately. "You have to. I'm your initiate."<br>"Katniss, your fears…." He shook his head, and reached out for her comfort and warmth. She leaned into him, her skinny frame against his build one, her thin arms wrapping around him.

"I don't want to break you." He expressed in soft tones. "I don't want you to leave me."

"I need to face my fears and be strong enough to. Just – inject me. Tobias, please," she begged, falling into the chair, tears swimming in her eyes. Tobias couldn't help but stare; she was beautiful, she was. She was so strong, so fierce, yet so _broken. _She was like a graceful, lovely bird, but with a broken wing.

She picked up the needle and turned it over in her delicate hands. Slowly, she grabbed one of his hands, one of his beautiful, rough hands, and ran her fingers over his palm. He tensed. She squeezed his hand, and placed the needle in his palm, wrapping his fingers around it, though he was unwilling.

"Please, Toby," she whispered in his ear, her breath hitching and tickling his ear. "Please."

He fumbled the needle in his callused hands,

"Be brave, Katniss," he held a hand against her warm cheek, wanting to stay there forever. She settled against the back of the chair, her eyes staring into his. He wanted to memorize her; memorize her eyes and her lips and her face and her hands. He kept his hand on her face, and with the other hands, held the needle to her neck.

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to cause her any pain.

"Wait," she said suddenly. "Wait."

He set the needle down. She placed her hand over his, the hand that was still resting on her cheek.

"What is it?" He murmured.

"Kiss me," she replied. "Before I go."

He didn't stop to think about it, but instead brought his lips to hers. They had stolen so many secret kisses before; if any of the other Dauntless initiates knew; she would be factionless.

Her lips were soft yet rough; her mouth moved perfectly with his. He pulled her out of the simulation chair and held her against him. Her hands twined around his neck and started playing with his hair. He gripped her waist tightly, holding her as closely as he could while still wearing clothing.

He lined her lips with his tongue, she made a noise in her throat and gasped slightly, something that he loved about her. That she could still be surprised by him.

He wanted her closer, wanted to keep her close. He pushed her against the wall harder than he had meant to, but she just knotted her hands into the bottom of his loose black shirt, running her fingers over his build stomach. He groaned, placing his hands on the thin strip of stomach revealed over her waist.

She pulled back slightly to catch her breath, and he began to release her.  
>"No," she gasped. "No, don't stop."<p>

He stole a sideways glance at her, and couldn't help himself, he began to kiss her again. He snuck his hands under her shirts and trailed his fingers over her stomach, something he had done so often before. He took his hands away and she leaned into him, nipping his bottom lip teasingly. He made a noise in his throat and rubbed his hands over her bare shoulders.

"Four," she mumbled.

She finally pulled away. Tobias stopped to breathe heavily.

"If we don't stop I won't be able to go through with this," she plopped back down in the chair and held the needle to her own neck.

"Stop!" He shouted, admiring her confidence. He reached her in two long strides and snatched the needle from her fragile hands.

"Are you ready?" He asked her. She nodded.

"I love you," she burst, and he injected her. Her eyes went slack, and she fell against the back of the chair. He shut her eyes.

"I love you too," he echoed.


	2. After

Fear Landscape

**ten minutes later **

"Hey, calm down," he comforted the girl, who sat sobbing in the chair.

She wiped a tear from her cheek, which left tear stains down her pale face. She looked up at him, her eyes watery.

"What happened in there, Katniss?" He asked softly.

"I was in this…this place. An arena. And people were watching me, watching me almost die. There was fire and then he almost died…." Her voice choked. "We survived and then these awful people wanted to kill us, and we went back, we went back, Toby, and then I almost died, and it was a clock, and then they killed her, they killed Prim…"

He remembered the slight, blonde girl from Visiting Day, from Amity.

"It's okay," He said in a soothing tone. "You're okay."

She began to nod, and then broke down again.  
>"How long do you think you were in there?" He asked.<p>

"It seemed… Four, it seemed like years." She took deep breaths and began to calm down.

"You took ten minutes, Kat, ten minutes." She held her hands to her face and curled up in the chair, sliding to the floor, where she crumpled like a rag doll.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Tobias," she said softly.

His heart broke for her, broke for the broken girl he loved. Who he couldn't help loving.

"Do what, Catnip?" He asked, using one of his many pet names for her.

"Be Dauntless. Be this." She gestured to herself. "I don't think I can handle going through this again, Toby! I'm going to kill myself if I have to do this again!"  
>"Hey." His voice was firm yet upset, he was tearing himself to bits inside.<p>

"What?"  
>"Don't you dare talk like that, Katniss, just don't. If you killed yourself, I don't think I would be able to… to handle it."<p>

"You would get over it, Four, you would survive." She pulled at the elastic holding her braid together and wrapped it twice around her thin wrist, letting her dark hair flow freely around her shoulders. Her hair was long and wavy from being kept in a braid. He felt an urge to run his fingers through it.

"Katniss, I don't think I could…. Just don't do anything stupid, okay?"

"If you have to say that, you haven't met me yet." She sounded as though she was only half-kidding.

"Do I look like I've been crying?" She asked him. He pretended to be examining her, but really, he was just trying to remember everything about her pretty face.

"You look strong, Kat, really strong." He wasn't lying.

She stood up and began to walk towards the door. She reached out to grasp the doorknob and he clasped his hand over hers before she could twist the doorknob.

"What?" She looked up at him. He towered over her.

"I love you." He told her truthfully.

She didn't respond, just smiled and pecked him on the lips.

"Bye," she said simply, twisted the doorknob and left. He was surprised. Normally she would tell him she loved him back. After she left him, he allowed his next initiate to come in and began their fear landscape, but Katniss didn't leave his mind.

**oOo**

A couple of hours later, there was a knock on his door.

"Four?" Zeke said as he entered Four's apartment tentatively.

"What is it, Zeke? I'm busy," he said stiffly.

"It's really important, er, one of the initiates have gone missing."  
>His head snapped up. "Missing? Who?" <em>She<em> clouded his thoughts. Of course she did. She was beautiful.

"Uh," he checked a scrap piece of paper in his palm. "Some chick named Katniss Everdeen."

He tensed and his hands formed fists.  
>"Are you okay, dude?" Zeke asked. "Come on, let's go find her."<p>

"No."

"What?"  
>"No. I have to find her myself."<p>

Where could she be? Amity, back to Prim and her family? She wouldn't have. She left them for a reason. Erudite? Of course not. He knew that Katniss hated the Erudite; she thought they were stuck-up. He also knew she didn't particularly enjoy the Abnegation; she thought they tried too hard, which he didn't disagree with wholeheartedly. He knew Katniss wouldn't last a minute in Candor, she spoke too quickly, without thinking. And if she couldn't stay in Dauntless, not even with him, where would she go?  
>The answer came all too quickly to him.<p>

Outside the fence.


End file.
